This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
