Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
