he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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