thus making me awesome and them whores
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
