I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i think i have herpe
just one?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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