my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
