im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
