some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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