i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
