do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
