Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
