I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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