Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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