What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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