Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize