I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
farters have to be the big spoon...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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