I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
mondays should just be called national damage control day
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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