I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
