I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
