I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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