Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
