I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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