but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize