Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize