yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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