if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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