I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
