I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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