Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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