We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
