This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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