I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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