Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize
