it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
is that a dick in a sweater?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
