It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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