Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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