It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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