Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
