"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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