I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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