TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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