Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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