Texts From Last Night

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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.

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  (339): I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion. http://tfl.nu/m237
  Replies (93) Good night (5181) Bad night (1962) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"

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  (603): she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer" http://tfl.nu/7wxh
  Replies (51) Good night (1085) Bad night (4027) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?

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  (719): Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas? http://tfl.nu/io06
  Replies (35) Good night (6921) Bad night (1260) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob

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  (330): We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob http://tfl.nu/gzh9
  Replies (25) Good night (4608) Bad night (1302) Order T-Shirt
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  (213): View more from California

  Her brother is deaf.

  (214): View more from Texas

  no wonder she was so good with her hands

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  (213): Her brother is deaf. (214): no wonder she was so good with her hands http://tfl.nu/zbzq
  Replies (6) Good night (5351) Bad night (847)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito

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  (617): i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito http://tfl.nu/zxd0
  Replies (3) Good night (1558) Bad night (1434) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.

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  (336): i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later. http://tfl.nu/c2qt
  Replies (5) Good night (2871) Bad night (1393) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.

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  (484): I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS. http://tfl.nu/nces
  Replies (4) Good night (2176) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"

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  (530): He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?" http://tfl.nu/zkkw
  Replies (6) Good night (1652) Bad night (2431) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.

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  (780): Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something. http://tfl.nu/bxdz
  Replies (7) Good night (1107) Bad night (756)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.

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  (937): in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable. http://tfl.nu/kvvg
  Replies (14) Good night (1307) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.

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  (765): Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater. http://tfl.nu/rsqd
  Replies (4) Good night (1380) Bad night (425) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  Your cock deserves a montage

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  (323): Your cock deserves a montage http://tfl.nu/nty6
  Replies (1) Good night (1102) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"

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  (917): she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall" http://tfl.nu/c8ce
  Replies (2) Good night (1406) Bad night (272) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas

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  (407): He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas http://tfl.nu/zvf4
  Replies (10) Good night (210) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt

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