i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.