Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.