btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
