i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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