just come out here and I will go home with you...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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