You're completely useless in the revolution.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
