So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
