Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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