I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
