are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
