He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
