She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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