I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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