worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
