Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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