Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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