I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
