wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
