Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
