i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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