similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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